Selected Writings
TIPPECANOE AND KA‘AHUMANU, TOO!
Ken Jones from the Parade office located on the second floor came in with a morning Chronicle. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was the BiPOL contingent on the front page, above the fold and the accompanying story about the Parade. We had made the front page!! Our contingent was lead by then-San Francisco Mayor “Bi-Anne” Feinstein and the United Kingdom’s Princess “Bi” who could be seen waving from the big ‘72 convertible. The huge sign covering the front grill could barely be deciphered, but with a little work you could read “Mayor Bi-Anne and Princess Bi Welcome You to the San Francisco Bi Area. Our rented convertible was followed by giant sandwich board cut-outs of Bi-Cuspids and Bi-Valves, a Bi-detector robot, and me Bi and Large among others. On that day we put to rest the notion that bisexuals are boring confused “wanna-be” gays and lesbians. Not only had we won the Most Outrageous Contingent Award in the whole parade, but we made the front page of the morning paper. BiPOL’s goal for 1984 was visibility, and we were off to a great start.
I’ll never forget our meeting a couple days later. Alan Rockway, Bill Mack, Autumn Courtney, Maggi Rubenstein, Arlene Krantz, Bob Kuntz (an out of town friend of Alan’s), and I were telling our stories to Autumn who had been working as Co-chair of Parade Merchandising. We were riding high. Bisexuals had been loud and proud and ever so campy for the two mile-parade route. The seven of us sat there reveling in our bad ass bisexual high. The camaraderie, the sense of accomplishment, and VISIBILITY were very heady stuff.
Alan was always one to play the media. Back in January he told us there were going to be 5,000 extra reporters in town for the Democratic Convention. He knew they’d be in town two weeks early during Pride Week and would be looking for stories. Bill’s and my ideas had sparked the flamboyant parade contingent and our first political button – “UNITY is our Bi-Word.” BiPOL’s next task was to plot our bisexual visibility actions for the Democrats and homphobic fundamentalist preacher Jerry Falwell’s conference.
I could feel the energy whirling around the room. Alan told us stories about how he had once run unsuccessfully for Vice-President at a previous national convention. He said all you had to do was pay your fees, pick up your papers and get 200 delegate signatures, hand them in, and you'd get 15 minutes on the floor of the convention to nominate your candidate. The point being the free national television and radio time! Still laughing I wiped the tears away from my eyes and felt myself ride a full-on roller coaster adrenaline rush when Alan talked about how BiPOL could capitalize on the national media and get even more visibility by running “Lani for Vice President.” The serious tone in his voice and the twinkle in his eyes alerted me. He was already ten steps ahead of us, scheming to throw my hat into the ring! The candidacy was a foregone conclusion. BiPOL decided to officially put forth a candidate for Vice President to run with Walter Mondale.
“Lani Ka‘ahumanu – an ex-housewife mother of two, a mixed heritage lesbian-identified bisexual feminist” would compete with Geraldine Ferrero and then-Mayor Diane Feinstein for the Vice Presidential nomination of the Democratic Party. I would be the first out bisexual running for a major office. The purpose would be to get as much media visibility as possible. By the end of the meeting Alan was talking about picking up the official petition papers and writing a check for the filing fees.
The field was rough that year – Walter was courting many women for his running mate – Feinstein and Ferrero were two of his top choices. BiPOL sent out a press release to all major papers announcing our Vice Presidential candidate’s press conference. To my utter amazement the press arrived in front of Moscone Convention Center at the appointment time. There I was talking with the San Francisco Examiner, a Chicago paper, and several other big city newspaper reporters. “Ms. Ka‘ahumanu, why are you running for Vice President?” “Yeah,” I thought to myself, “what am I doing?” I was scared to death – but I heard myself say, “I am running because I am very concerned about the homophobic Falwellian agenda of the religious right. I want time on the floor of the convention to speak about the civil rights of bisexual, lesbian, and gay people. No one else will bring our issues forward at this convention. I am also the mother of an 18 year old son and am terrified that, if elected, Ronald Reagan will get us into a war. In the sixties I was Another Mother For Peace. I could not stand for this.”
As this was going on my BiPOL campaign advisors were handing our little pink baggies imprinted with big blue letters which, lined up vertically, spelled out BARF. The B was for Anita Bryant, the A for Rubin Askew (the very homophobic governor of Florida at that time), the R for Ronald Reagan, and the F for Jerry Falwell. I couldn’t quite believe people were taking us seriously, and they were.
The next day back behind the counter serving lattes and wearing my official purple tee-shirt with “Ka‘ahumanu for Vice President” emblazoned across the front, I screamed when I read a little two-inch story in the Examiner which read, “Terrified woman handing out air-sickness bags announces candidacy.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It did go on to say “bisexual,” so we were on a roll. Business at The Rose had tripled. The whole city was jumpin’ and bisexuals were right in there with the rest of them.
By this time Walter had chosen Geraldine and she had her necessary 200 delegate signatures. However, the Ka‘ahumanu campaign committee were workin’ our butts off. We went to every delegate party, all the tourist spots, including 18th and Castro, and the various caucuses to lobby delegates for their signatures. Alan and Bob were my experienced Campaign Managers, Arlene, Autumn, Bill, and my daughter Dannielle were political advisors. We told the mostly tipsy or full-on drunk delegates we wanted to address the issue of sexual orientation, civil rights, and bisexual, lesbian, and gay families from the convention floor. My campaign slogan was “Tippicanoe and Ka‘ahumanu too!” We were on the campaign trail collecting signatures morning, noon, and night for a week!
We collected 253 delegate signatures; 53 more than we needed just in case some of the people who signed were alternates and not full-fledged delegates. Alan delivered them to the Democratic National Committee (DNC) office at the San Francisco Hilton early in the morning at the appointed time. We met for breakfast across the street to wait for the official count. My head was spinning. I had watched Rainbow Coalition’s Jesse Jackson’s speech the night before. The convention center was so enormous he was just a speck behind the podium. I physically shook with fear at the thought of actually speaking at the microphone on that very same stage. What had I been talked into? Bisexual visibility by any means necessary.
To make a long story short, we were told that 70 of our signatures were invalid so we wouldn’t get the time on the floor. We were outraged. It was about 10:30 a.m. when we got the news. The day’s activities were beginning at noon so most people were already at Moscone. Alan, Bill, Arlene, Bob, and I marched right up to the computer room of the DNC on the fifth floor of the Hilton. We were a rag-tag grouping, all wearing our purple Ka‘ahumanu tee-shirts. No one stopped up or gave us a second look.
We found the books listing the names and signatures of delegates and their alternates. Within a few minutes we discovered eight “invalidated” signatures were official delegates! We realized they didn’t want us on the floor. Bob sat down at the typewriter and immediately began writing a press release. I nosed around further and found a letter on DNC stationery with the official count. Geraldine and another woman who was “running on a solar energy platform” got 200+ signatures. I was listed third. I stole the letter and also took photos documenting our discoveries. Arlene, Bill, and Alan continued to pour over the books. A young woman and man appeared and asked what we were doing there. We told them our story and showed them what we had uncovered. They said we needed to talk with the head of the DNC and insisted we leave. By that time everyone who was anyone (except for us!) was at the Moscone Convention Center. We, the BiPOL Five, refused to leave until security arrived. Alan stayed behind, arguing that our rights had been violated and the democratic process had been purposefully obstructed.
Wow! In that two week period after the Parade in 1984, BiPOL orchestrated several press conferences, a short TV interview for a Chicago morning talk show with me “the candidate” and my 17 year old daughter, Dannielle, and a spectacular, rowdy, highly visible, press attended street theatre demo titled “Stop the Falwellian Agenda,” a “La Cage Au Falwell” sexual healing of the Moral Majority. As the show tune “I am what I am” blasted from the tape deck, we sprinkled fairy dust glitter on the sidewalk in front of the Holiday Inn where Jerry Falwell was holding his anti-gay “pro-family” Brotherhood Family Forum.
BiPOL ended up getting press for bisexuals in Newsweek magazine and the daily Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco, and New York newspapers. In several convention political cartoons showing delegates there would be a bisexual sign in amongst the anti-nuke, peace, and union signs. Our visibility campaign was a great success.
© 1994 Lani Ka‘ahumanu
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This article first appeared in Anything That Moves.
The day after the 1984 San Francisco Lesbian Gay Freedom Day Parade and Pride Celebration I was working behind the counter at The Valencia Rose serving lattes, soup, and sandwiches. The Rose, as we lovingly called her, was a gay and lesbian comedy club and cultural center located in the Mission District. The three story titty pink building was the place to be. Tom Ammiano, Marga Gomez, Romanofsky and Phillips, Lea Delaria and Jeannine Strobel, Karen Ripley, Suzy Berger, Monica Palacios, and Doug Holsclaw were but a few of the talents honing their skills at open mic and Gay Comedy Night. The Rose was the first gay comedy club in the country and the hub of political and cultural activity for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people in the mid-eighties. The city was bracing itself for the Democratic National Convention and Jerry Falwell's Brotherhood Family Forum Convention.
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