Selected Writings
HOW I SPENT MY TWO WEEK VACATION
The pace was fast and furious, the mood was campy and cooperative, the setting was cramped, lacking air and windows. There was a sense of history being made. The Today Show, Good Morning America, Tokyo Television, Italian TV, the New York Times, Miami Herald Tribune, LA Times, SF Examiner, USA TODAY, and the Village Voice to name just a few who called. Everyone was looking for an angle on this civil rights march. This was not being covered as a parade or celebration. The tone was more serious.
A national gay writer who was working for a big city paper was interested in interviewing one of the speakers. “Well guess what,” I said, “I just happen to be on the main stage.” “Perfect.” he said. So I tell him I’m the token bisexual speaker and the last one of the day. He laughs when I tell him the name of my speech, “It ain’t over til the bisexual speaks.” And is hooked by the Farajaje-Jones term “gayristocracy.” He asks great questions, we talked and then there was a long pause. “This is really interesting. Maybe I should do a story for the Village Voice on bisexuality.” He asks for my home number and there is another long silence. Then says, “Well, I’d like to talk with you sometime. I’ve been having sex with all my lesbian friends and I don’t know who to talk to about it.” I encouraged him to call.
Everyday that week as new people arrived someone would introduce me as Lani Ka’ahumanu the bisexual speaker. I wasn’t being “shown off” exactly but sometimes the tokenism grated my nerves. Being the only visible one of anything is taxing and isolating. By the end of each day I wanted good ol’ bisexual company. Thank goodness there were so many bisexuals around and a BiNET USA meeting and a National Conference on Bisexuality and dance on Saturday. I was well nourished.
By the time Sunday arrived I was ready. I had worked hard and thought about this day for two months. When I pictured myself talking in front of TV cameras and a million people I rode the adrenaline rushes like a surfer catches a wave. My biggest and most surprising breakthrough came while working on my speech. I cranked up some “writing” music -- Simon and Garfunkel’s Concert in Central Park. As I went to my desk thinking about being on stage the speakers filled my office with thousands of people cheering and clapping at the Central Park Concert. At that moment I experienced a level of terror that made my body shiver. I stopped in my tracks and began to cry. I cried for a very long time and then started laughing. What a perfect way to get over the fear of being in front of so many people! I played the crowd noise over and over until the adrenaline subsided.
I thought about the first National Bisexual Conference in 1990. How we applauded loudly when BiPOL’s Autumn Courtney proclaimed the nineties as the “decade of the bisexual.” The vision of our bisexual community and movement becoming a viable and respected player at the larger queer community table was within our reach. Who would have guessed that we would have secured national recognition less than two years later? But there we were in January, 1992, demanding that bisexual rights be recognized in the title of the 1993 March on Washington. Our time had definitely arrived. Many of us took leadership positions on the national, regional, and local levels for organizing the March.
A quiet sense of pride filled me the morning of April 25th. We made it. There we were in the front of the March carrying the banner, performing on the morning stage, and marching loud, proud and visible with almost every group. And there we were over 1,000 strong in the bisexual contingent! And there we were visible on the gigantic trinitron screens projecting the afternoon stage activities with the “1993 March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation” title emblazoned across the top. And yes, there we were on the afternoon stage.
I say “we” were on the afternoon stage because we were. I did not feel alone up there for a minute. I can’t quite explain it, but you all were with me. For the entire day I felt I was speaking for more than myself. There was a definite sense of bistory in the making as I networked and challenged the biphobia, and reminded forgetful MCs and speakers that it was the lesbian gay and bisexual March on Wahsington, and appreciated those who said bisexual through out their speeches. I was very conscious of wanting to represent “us” as best as one person possibly could. Whenever I felt intimidated I just remembered how many strong and proud bisexual people I have had the opportunity of meeting here in the USA and in Europe in the last few years. I also knew there were thousands of bisexuals out there marching in huge numbers making a different kind of statement to the world. I felt proud and honored to be representing the bisexual community and movement and didn’t want to waste a moment of the precious time spent backstage. Loraine Hutchins with her bisexual pride t-shirt flashing stood out in this crowd. We consulted, commiserated and strategized all afternoon about how best to use the time accessing the media and the lesbian and gay leaders who were backstage. We worked that crowd for all it was worth.
Because unscheduled speakers were given time throughout the day, the stage ran an hour late. As the last speaker of the day my 5:30 p.m. slot came up around 6:45 p.m. Quite honestly by the end of the day I was emotionally exhausted and bruised from the general lack of respect, the tokenism, the invisibility of bisexual people and our issues and the division(ary) speeches given by many if not most of the lesbian and gay leaders. I was in no mood to be told 10 minutes before I was to go on that time was running out and the park service was threatening to turn off the sound at 7 p.m. One of the Co-Chairs told me that they were asking everyone to shorten their time to two minutes in order to get everyone who was scheduled onto the stage.
Something inside of me snapped when I heard this. I have always been willing to compromise, see both sides of an issue, build alliances, work things out. I have never been a very pushy, or disruptive in-your-face type of an activist/organizer. But honey did I turn a corner that day! I made it crystal clear that if there hadn’t been blatant biphobia coming from the stage, as well as from behind the stage all day, and if everyone would have done their homework and remembered that it was indeed the lesbian, gay and bisexual March on Washington, and if I wasn’t the only bisexual speaker out of the 18 chosen I would consider it in a heartbeat. After all I had been a producer and I understood the situation they were in, however editing my speech to two minutes was completely out of the question. A very brief discussion ensued regarding quality and quantity which I felt was ridiculous when we were talking five minutes vs. two minutes. In the end I agreed to look over my speech and edit, but not to two minutes. I knew my speech was a little more than five minutes so it seemed only fair to do this. As I walked out of the trailer the look on my face was not lost on Nadine Smith one of the other Co-Chairs who had been a consistent bisexual ally. She asked what had happened. I told her the situation. Her immediate reply was, “That isn’t right. Let me see what I can do.” A sense of injustice filled me with a focused fierceness in way I had never experienced before in my life. I would not be stopped, period. Loraine and Dannielle [my daughter] and Katherin came over to see what was wrong. “How dare they pull this on us!,” I said.
Less than a minute later someone said, “You’re on.” I hadn’t looked over my speech to begin the edit, but it didn’t matter. This was it. I felt strong and clear and angry as I walked through the security check points before the long ascent to the stage. “Lani Ka’ahumanu?” “Yes,” I said, “Lani Ka’ahumanu.” With each step my determination grew stronger. “Lani Ka’ahumanu?” “Lani Ka’ahumanu.” With each step I was filled with a powerful sense of love for bisexual people, for our courage and bravery, for the visible and viable bisexual community we have built, and for the strong bisexual pride movement we have organized. Oh no, I did not feel alone up there at all.
By the time I got to the top of the stairs and walked to edge of the backstage I was over it. Nothing was going to stop me, nothing, not even the stage co-producer Robin Tyler who literally got on her knees and asked me to make my speech two minutes. (What a lost photo opportunity!) I looked around and unexpectedly saw two familiar and friendly faces. Robin and I went over the two sentence introduction I had written earlier in the day. I had to edit one out. She liked one, but I wanted the other because it was more radical. It mentioned I had been a housewife and activist in the 60s, a public lesbian mother in the 70s and an out of the closet bisexual since 1980.
The very instant the group Menage finished singing, I walked to the podium as Robin introduced me. What a moment, there were hundreds of thousands of people as far as I could see to the Washington Monument and television cameras too numerous to count set up on a platform. I took a deep breath and said…
Aloha, my name is Lani Ka’ahumanu,
I am a token, and a symbol.
I came here in 1979
I returned in 1987
I stand here today
In 1987 I wrote an article on bisexuality
Bisexual activists
Are bisexuals visible yet?
You bet your sweet ass we are!
Bisexuals are here,
Bisexual pride
No simple either/or divisions
Society is based
Like multiculturalism,
Each show there is no separation,
Each signals a change, a fundamental change
Remember today.
Remember we are family,
However, as a family under attack
There is strength in our numbers and diversity.
Our visibility is a sign of revolt.
Recognition of bisexual orientation and transgender issues
What will it take
But this will not happen
The broader movement for our civil rights and liberation
Who gains when we ostracize whole parts of our family?
Certainly not us...
Being treated as if I am less oppressed than thou
What is the difficulty
What is the problem?
This is not a competition.
I will not play by rules
Has the gayristocracy
Bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender people
All our visibility is a sign of revolt.
Bisexuals are here to challenge the bigots
Yes, Amendment 2 includes bisexual orientation.
Yes, the religious right recognizes bisexuals
Bisexuals are here to protest
Yes, the Department of Defense defines bisexuals separately
And yes, out bisexuals are not allowed
And yes, we lose our jobs, our children, get beaten and killed
Bisexuals are queer, just as queer as queer can be.
Each of us here today
Our civil rights and liberation movement
Remember today.
Remember that we are more powerful
Remember what a profound difference
The momentum of this day
Remember assimilation is a lie.
I want to challenge those lesbian and gay leaders
What is the sexual liberation movement about
I want to encourage bisexuals
Remember there is nothing wrong with love.
Our visibility is a sign of revolt.
We will not rest
We will not rest
We will not rest
We will not rest
We will not rest
We deserve nothing less.
Remember we have every right
Celebrate that simply and fiercely.
I love you.
Mahalo and aloha.
© 1993 Lani Ka‘ahumanu
back to selected writings
BEING A TOKEN BISEXUAL
This is an article I wrote for Anything That Moves, as well as the text of the speech I gave
at the 1993 March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation.
So there I was in the 1993 March on Washington media office in Washington DC six days before the big event working the phones and lending a bisexual presence. The five phones rang non-stop, “March on Washington media office. Hello my name is Lani.” The publisher of a small local DC paper called. He wanted to do a story paralleling the Martin Luther King March and this one. He wanted to make the connections clear so his community would come and join the march. “It’s the same for all of us,” he said, “basic civil rights.” “Yep, that’s right,” I said, “30 years later we have the same dream.” There were two to four of us at any one point fielding questions from local, national and international television and radio stations, the print media, as well as reporters of all stripes wanting interviews, press passes and faxing us their credentials. The NAACP and the White House called a few times too.
and it ain’t over til the bisexual speaks...
Today there is no difference.
I am the token out bisexual asked to speak, and
I am a symbol of how powerful the bisexual pride movement is
and how far we have come.
for the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights
for the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights
on the stage
of the 1993 March on Washington
for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual
Equal Rights and Liberation.
for the Civil Disobedience Handbook
titled, “Are we visible yet?”
organized on the local, regional and national levels
to make this March a reality.
Are bisexuals organized yet?
Are bisexuals accountable yet?
and we’re queer.
speaks to the truth
of behavior and identity.
fluid – ambiguous – subversive
bisexual pride challenges both
the heterosexual and the homosexual assumption.
on the denial of diversity,
on the denial of complexity.
mixed heritage and bi-racial relationships,
both the bisexual and transgender movements
expose and politicize the middle ground.
that each and everyone of us
is part of a fluid social, sexual and gender dynamic.
in the way our society is organized.
and like a large extended family,
we don’t always agree, don’t always see eye to eye.
we must recognize the importance of what
each and every one of us brings to our movement.
We are every race, class, culture, age, ability,
religion, gender identity and sexual orientation.
presents a challenge to assumptions
not previously explored
within the politics
of gay liberation.
for the gayristocracy to realize
that bisexual, lesbian, transgender, and gay people
are in this together,
and together
we can and will
move the agenda forward.
until public recognition
of our common issues is made,
and a sincere effort to confront
biphobia and transphobia is made
by the established gay and lesbian leadership
in this country.
is being held back.
Who gains from exclusionary politics?
is not only insulting,
it feeds right in to the hands
of the right wing fundamentalists
who see all of us as queer.
in seeing how my struggle
as a mixed race bisexual woman of color
is intimately related to the bigger struggle
for lesbian and gay rights
the rights of people of color and
the rights of all women?
that pit me against any oppressed group.
bought so far in to the either/or structure,
invested so much in being
the opposite of heterosexual
that they cannot remove themselves
that they can’t imagine being free
of the whole oppressive heterosexist system
that keeps us all down?
who are out of the closet,
who are not passing
for anything other than who and what we are
all have our necks and our lives on the line.
who have denied lesbian, gay and bisexual people
basic civil rights in Colorado.
as a threat to “so called” family values.
the military ban against lesbians, gays and bisexuals.
as a reason to be dishonorably discharged.
to be foster or adoptive parents,
for loving women and for loving men.
represents many people
who could not make the trip.
has reached critical mass.
than all the hate, ignorance and violence
directed at us.
our visibility makes
upon the world in which we live.
can carry us
well into the 21st century
if we come out where ever and when ever we can.
It is spiritual erasure.
who have come out to me privately over the years
as bisexual to take the next step, come out now.
if not about the freedom to love whom we choose?
in the lesbian, gay and heterosexual communities
to come out now.
Defend the freedom to express it.
We cannot be stopped. We are everywhere.
We are bisexual, lesbian, gay and transgender people.
until we are all free;
until our basic human rights
are protected under federal law;
until our relationships and families
are not just tolerated
but recognized, respected and valued;
until we have a national health care system;
until there are cures for AIDS and cancer.
to be in the world
exactly as we are.
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