There is a ritual I do when I remove my clothes with someone
..whether it's to sunbathe, sauna, massage or to make love.
I tell the stories of my scars.
MY BODY IS A MAP OF MY LIFE
A PATCHWORK QUILT
THAT IS WARM AND SOFT AND STRONG
I didn't always appreciate my body. I used to be ashamed and embarrassed.
I had a difficult time baring my self with or even without other people around.
I would avoid looking at myself, I mean realy looking beyond the self-hate, beyond the media image that I should be, and that I could be if only...
There was no real sense other than I wasn't good enough.
I was constantly comparing my self with others.
The more I denied this closet character the more control it had over my life. It was a drag.
I wanted to be free, so I practiced. I practiced being nude dancing, walking, sitting, laying, playing all while looking in the mirror at myselft from every possible angle.
It wasn't easy but as the months and year passed I became more comfortable and accepting.
You could even say I developed a nonchalant attitude when in the nude.
I began to feel at home in my body and in the growing sense of well being.
SCAR WOMAN emerged from the closet.
All imperfections exposed, I claimed the unique, distinctive markings,
making them perfect in the showing.
MY BODY IS A MAP OF MY LIFE
A PATCHWORK QUILT
THAT IS WARM AND SOFT AND STRONG
