Selected Writings


For now I look you in the eye and say
I will not be the skeleton in our family closet
I will not be your homo or heterosexual assumption
I will not be your scapegoat
I will not be controlled
I will not be contained
I will not betray my truth

I am spontaneous combustion
I am fluid motion seeking her compliment
I am language searching for new meaning
I am social construction looking to change

I am a sexual borderline bandit
a traitor to the cause

I am in-law and out-law
connected at your hip

I am your nitty gritty
raw naked to the bone
shameless fluid desire
come home

I am your primal cream
I am your forbidden dream

I am beyond binary

I am sexual
without category

I am sexual
without gendered reference points
riding the chemistry
as it unfolds

I am a free range chicken
don’t fence me in
I can cockadoodle doo your do
and lay with the best of your hens

I am a criss-cross hop scotching
ready or not here I come
boat rocking radical
in a swiftly shifting paradigm
heading towards the next millennium

If I pass
for other than what I am
do you feel safer?

I ask
where do you draw your lines?
whose back do you watch?
who do you include?

Do you hear what I’m saying?

If I pass
for other than what I am
do you feel safer?

My light skin
My female lover
when I have one,
or for that matter,
My male lover
when I have one,
are tickets
to games
I don’t want to play

I am the bone of your contention
I am the white noise whisper that will not cease
I am the muddy waters, the complication, the confusion of issues

I will not give up my freedom for safety

I will not be patronized
I will not be tokenized
I will not be tolerated, and
I will not be quiet

I am not satisfied
with the concessions bisexuals have been given
Just who is it
who thinks
they are giving what
to whom?

I have been here all along
I have as much to give,
as I am given

This is a two way street

I am a sexual politic
free to follow the geography of my desire

I am a human politic
carving out new language
in a time when there are no pat answers

I want us to go to that naked place
where terror
and the desire for justice
lives inside our souls

Search for the place
that remembers,
we are family,
we are a tribe, one among many
we are connected and dependent upon the earth,
the air we breathe,
the food we eat,
the water we drink,
and each other

We are the descendants and the ancestors

I want us to go to that naked place
where we remember the truth,
for the truth is all we have,
and, the truth is all we need

If we do this, if we really do this
we can influence the flow of evolution,
by risking being part of the change


© 1994 Lani Ka‘ahumanu

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